Being Honest

Being honest… sometimes I just feel like crying. And then I feel like screaming. Sometimes I feel like crying and screaming at the same time. But hey, that’s not what you are supposed to do! You are supposed to smile, make people happy. Do not show your true feelings. People will judge you. But what if one day, I just can’t do it anymore?

…Well I want you to know the world seems to be a place where everyone is “doing well.” We spend hours on social media, seeing different posts about the best times other people are having. We share our best moments and hide the ugly ones. Then we start comparing our regular lives to those who seem to have it all figure out. We get depressed after spending a couple of hours seeing instagram posts. The worse part is that nobody recognizes this fact. Also, hardly ever do we see people truly sharing their trials with the world, being real with their friends. Not many are willing to share their suffering. Unless it is extremely painful and so obvious, that it is impossible to hide it.

We are prone to hide our weaknesses because we try to create an image of perfection for ourselves.

But who are we really fooling? The world? Ourselves?

There have been times when I was tired, done with everything. Nothing seemed to go the way I wanted it. I kept making the same mistakes. And the worse part was that it took me a long time to admit it all. At some point, I gave up. I gave up on people; I gave up on trying to make others smile. I gave up on faking to be OK. Because OK doesn’t always mean OK. These were the times I tried to create an image of myself that was so perfect I could not keep up with it.

I’ve given up on suffering in silence. On hiding my demons and on pretending to have it all together.

I will never measure up to standards of perfection. And I do not want to anyways.

This realization has freed me from the pain of not being the model person people seem to be able to be. I am OK with not being OK. I am OK with making mistakes as long as I learn from them. Don’t get me wrong, I still hate making mistakes, but at least now I know that there’s grace for me too. Because in the end, it is through suffering and trials that we learn the most important lessons. The pain from today is only part of a greater plan. A plan none of us could ever understand. A plan that is greater than all of us.

I tell you this, to let you know that you do not need to be perfect. I am being honest; I am showing you how vulnerable I can be. People try to pretend they have it all together. But, do not buy into this lie. Life can get hard and it is OK to not be perfect, to not have all the answers, to not measure up to a standard, to feel lost.

Every single time I felt lost, someone came to the rescue. A friend, a pet, a family member, a teacher, a kind stranger, or the owner of the cafe I was having alone time at. Life is full of surprises and gifts. One of the greatest is to witness the kindness that people are able to show to a person during hard times.

Remember, as long as you are willing to be real with people, people will be real with you.

Know that you are never alone, that this world is full of others going through the same struggles as you are. Don’t be afraid of reaching out for help. Don’t be afraid of showing your emotions to others. People will understand, they will help you overcome any hardships.

Put your ego aside and let your light shine again. Let others pour into you. Let people see the real you.

It is through the sharing of our deepest wounds that we are able to heal them. And by sharing our true selves we help everyone around us grow and learn as well. So don’t be selfish and start being you. Show your true self to those around you. You will discover this is the easiest way to forgive, learn and grow.

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